Perfect Snowman Patented

San Diego – After a five year application process, Long Island resident Ignacio Marc Asperas finally received U.S. Patent Number 8,011,991 B2 entitled “Apparatus for facilitating the construction of a snow man/woman.” Mr. Asperas, who often had back trouble building large snowmen, created a method for constructing a large snowman that was relatively light and easy to complete. Granted just in time for the Christmas season, the patent contains 25 pages of instructions detailing the process for rolling snowballs, creating snow arms, and assembling the perfect snow man.

The process involves rubber or plastic spheres which, covered in snow, appear to be large “snow boulders.” The rubber or plastic spheres, known as “snow spheres,” as noted in the patent application, utilize static electricity to attract and hold snow to their exterior. This allows snowman builders to create a large and perfectly round snowball that is light enough to move or lift onto the snowman. Without the snow spheres, a snowman builder would be forced to roll snow into large, heavy, and difficult to move snow boulders or snow balls.

Describing the invention in the patent application, Mr. Asperas, stated, “I do not pretend that the ultimate snowman will be as revolutionary to the advancement of mankind (as the wheel and the toaster oven), but I do contend that as far as I know no one has ever conceived and reduced to practice such an apparatus.”

Perhaps in anticipation to his critics, Mr. Asperas stated in defense of his patent that, “We have created the internet. China is getting ready to send a person to the moon. And we invented silly putty, perhaps one of the all-time greatest inventions a big kid ever invented. Can’t somebody build a better snowman?”